They have to love you back

Friday, June 12, 2009 ·

Back in my dating days, I was open to all kinds of ways to meet men. I liked being in a relationship, the companionship. I was actively looking for someone with whom I could share my life.

We all have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find a prince. I met guys for coffee. I went to dinner with them. I ran into them at bars. I kept telling myself that if this guy were in a comfortable relationship, he wouldn't be this nervous; he wouldn't be this fragile. I tried to see the real person behind the don't-know-you-from-Adam facade. I tried to be as open and as accommodating as possible. I decided to give each guy at least two chances, 2 dates. Sometimes I went on as many as 10 dates with a guy before I'd finally accept the fact that this was not a good fit.

Then I met a guy who was crazy about me. That's when I finally realized that no matter how accommodating, no matter how patient, no matter how attentive I was, if the guy didn't love me back, it wasn't going to work.

Prospects are like guys. They have to love you back, or it isn't going to work.

What I mean is that you can't accommodate someone into the business. If you do all the work, you're always going to be doing all of the work. You're always going to feel inadequate and frustrated.

We are actively looking for people with whom we can share our businesses, our products. By all means, handle the objections. Find out their why. Qualify them. But at some point they have to start moving toward you, or they're just going to feel harried.

Connect with people. Find out what makes someone tick. Be sincere. Be real. But if they don't respond, move on. There are so many people out there waiting to here about your opportunity, and if you spend all of your time and energy harrying the few that you really really really want to join you, even though they're not interested, you'll miss the chance to find the ones that will love you back.

So get out there and start talking to the frogs. You will find princes.


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