I've been fired, Day 3

Day 3 hit me hard. It was a day of anxiety and disappointment, but now that I'm sitting here in Day 4, I can see that it was a reality that I created for myself.

Huh?

What I mean is that I had huge expectations. I envisioned my conference room filled to the brim with 40 people, that they would all enthusiastically fill out the enrollment forms after hearing my brilliant presentation, and that they would each run out and find 5 of their friends for our next meeting and the avalanche would carry us all along to the promised land.

Well, there were less than 40 people, and although the presentation was brilliant, not everyone signed up and rushed out to find their friends. So I slipped into a slump and landed in a great big puddle of fear. My poor husband; he helped me limp along while I gave in to despair and waited until there was a glimmer of positive thought and blew gently on that ember so that it could start to warm my soul.

In actuality, I made 3 extremely promising contacts that have become even more promising this morning, only 18 hours later; I have a list of 20 new emails and phone numbers for follow up from enthusiastic people who weren't able to make it to last night's meeting, and I have a clear idea of my next step. Oh, and did I mention that I have 3 new enrollees?

And yet that icky fear is still clinging to my ankles, threatening to rise up and swallow my heart, and render me incapable of motion.

It's all in my head. Yesterday was a GREAT success. At any other point, my heart would be dancing a jig, and I would be grinning at everyone within radar range.

Thank goodness for self-honesty. It's important to be able to look inside and discern the source of discord. Stress is the difference between the way we want something to be, and the way it actually is. Stress diminishes when you work with things the way they are, instead of the way that you want them to be.

So when I look at what really happened yesterday and my reaction to what happened yesterday, it's easy to see that the cause of my stress is this impending deadline of needing to make this work within 2 months. I felt that my very survival depended on the presence of 40 enthusiastic enrollees at one meeting. I created this reality for myself that told me I failed, when actually, I succeeded.

Being in business for yourself is more than just making things happen, like getting people to a meeting, training them, mentoring them. It's also about personal growth, managing yourself, taking responsibility for your reactions, monitoring your world view. I'm a much stronger person today than I was yesterday, because I had to lift some pretty heavy weights, and I did it. I'm a bit bruised, but even that is evaporating as the minutes tick by.

Despair doesn't get you anywhere. Clear thought, positive attitude, taking action: those get you wherever you want to go. So, I'm leaving despair behind, and turning my face toward my next positive action, which is to follow up with the 25 people that I met yesterday.

Day 4 awaits!

I've been fired! Day 2

The aftermath of being fired can start to set in a day or two after the main event. I'm focusing on all of the positive things that come to mind. Like, it's a gorgeous blue-skied day out there, and I'm not stuck in a cubicle, oblivious. I'm still sitting at a computer, but it's my computer, and I'm working on MY business.

My business partner and I planned a big meeting for tomorrow. We planned it last week, got the room reserved, checked our slide shows and music mix, printed out fliers and put in motion all of the little details that ensure a successful meeting.

I was planning on taking the day off anyway, to really focus on the meeting, but now I have a whole extra day to get things in order. Also, it's not a huge, late-night push to get it all ready, so I'll be well-rested and full of genuine enthusiasm tomorrow.

Everything is working out for the best. I feel great! I envision a large turnout for our meeting. We have a powerful slide show, and great pre- and post-meeting activities. We did a run through last week, so both my partner and I know exactly what to do at every step of the meeting. I've had time to think everything through and pick up last minute oversights that might have involved some fancy footwork if they'd gone unnoticed.

I am so thankful that I've been working on my business part time, so it's there for me to step into full time when I really needed it. I knew I would be building my business full time at some point, I just hadn't planned on it being now. But just like starting a family, there's not often the perfect time. Sometimes you just have to jump and swim as hard as you can.

I am surrounded by supportive, positive people; I have everything I need for tomorrow's meeting, including a great business partner. We've been working together almost a year now, so we really know each other's style and strengths. We're a good team, and we're so lucky to be in this together.

She still has her full time job, and my lay off scared her a bit, but that just motivates both of us to make every moment successful, positive, and full of focused activity and fun.

I keep going back to the fact that it is so important to have something that you can fall back on and build on your own, because corporations are crumbling all around us. Be ready for when it hits you, and your life will blossom instead of collapse. You can do it! I'll show you how, because, whew, I've been there.

Hey! I got fired!

Yesterday, my boss fired me. Or maybe I got laid off; not sure what the difference is. Kinder terminology maybe. Regardless of the terms, yesterday I had a job; today I don't have a job. That's a big change in my reality, and it happens to a lot of people.

Yesterday, I was pretty upset. It caught me, not completely by surprise, but I didn't see it coming right now. I knew it was something that could happen, but I had let myself be lulled into a sense of security, of things going on the way they always have. I felt safe and content, and then suddenly, during a 3-minute conversation, I felt vulnerable and all alone.

I cleared out my desk, packed up the artwork and plants that made my little corner pretty and comforting. A friend helped me carry everything out to my car. And I drove away. It happened so fast, and it was so late in the day, I was able to say goodbye to only two people. Today, everyone came in and probably saw my empty spot and wondered what in the world happened.

Now, I sort of knew it could happen, because I knew that money was tight. I knew that some funding that they'd been counting on was maybe not going to happen, but they assured me that it wouldn't affect me, that they really needed me, and that I was safe. But I wasn't safe. It did affect me. My world is very different today than it was yesterday, not even 24 hours ago.

That's the world almost all of us live in today. Things change and they can change FAST.

I went home and told my husband what had happened, and my victory was that I was able to talk without breaking into tears. He was supportive and encouraging and enthusiastic about what door might open next. I was too caught up in my emotion to be swayed by his positive attitude, but I was able to stay off that slippery slope of debilitating fear and despair.

I didn't sleep much last night, so I woke up tired and groggy. But the amazing thing was, I woke up optimistic, enthusiastic, with a sense of freedom that has stayed with me all day long.

Things happen for a reason. We've all heard that, and most of us believe it, but when we're in the middle of a crisis, we might not be able to feel it. But I feel it. I have been working hard all day long at the thing that I LOVE to do, without fear, without anxiety, just knowing that it feels so right to be doing this. I can focus my full attention on MY own business, without the distraction of someone else's business.

I'm the main wage earner in my household. My husband is a minister and loves his work, but it doesn't pay anything at all. My income pays all of the bills, and sends us on vacation and buys us new computers and iPhones. So when my income goes away, our lives change.

But I'm not worried. I know that MY own business is going to grow tremendously over the next two months, because I know what I'm doing, and I can finally, finally focus on what I love to do: MY own amazing business. My own AMAZING business.

The worst financial disaster that could have happened to me and my family happened yesterday. And I'm feeling GREAT!

Do it yourself, or pay the man?

There is so much to do and only so many hours in the day. You're building a business, probably while working full time at the job you're trying to escape, raising a family, juggling schedules, caring for aging parents, and having a quiet dinner out, at least once in a while, with your spouse, so you can remember why you're doing all of this anyway.

Some things you'll be really, really good at. Other things will be a struggle for you. Avoid the trap of trying to do it all yourself. Otherwise, you'll eventually run out of time and sanity.

Look for business partners with skills that compliment yours. If you don't like speaking in front of groups, keep your antennae out for someone who likes being up on stage. If you can't write, team up with someone who can. Are you super organized? Not everyone is. You can provide this skill to your partners, while they're up on stage or blogging.

Another option is to hire someone to help you. For a couple of years, I had a personal assistant. She picked up my mail and called catalog companies to get me off their mailing lists. She returned the videos (pre-Netflix). She bought batteries for my watches and kept the refrigerator stocked. She did my laundry and filled out the checks for me to sign for all of the bills I was supposed to keep track of. When I traveled for business, or pleasure, she kept all of these things going in the background, so I came home to a cleared desk, with no backlog.

Heaven.

Then I got laid off, and I couldn't afford to pay her any longer. But it taught me an important lesson: If someone else took care of the details that didn't interest me, I could focus on what I loved to do, working on my career.

When I started network marketing, things went along pretty good, but I was starting to get frazzled around the edges because there were too many things to do, and most of them I had to learn first. I was a scientist, with no experience in network marketing. I had to learn everything.

When I turned to social networking, I had to learn Facebook and Twitter and YouTube and blogging and and and. . . the list goes on as far as the eye can see.

I sent out a plea for help, and the perfect person said "I could do that for you!" And she could. She did. She still does. My business has grown fabulously since hiring her, because I can focus my attention on the parts that I've learned really well, and that I LOVE to do.

Self reliance is a wondrous thing. Overwhelm is the pits.

Where are you?

Look to the boomers

Do you want a LOT of customers? Do you want a LOT of business partners?

Look to the baby boomers.

Baby boomers control about 65% of the wealth on the planet. They have money to use; they are experienced consumers; there are a LOT of them: 76 million in the US, 1 billion worldwide.

Just after World War II, between 1946 and 1964, baby boomers popped up everywhere. What did they need first? Baby food. Gerber became a household name as it fed boomers across the country. After that, in quick procession other HUGE trends swept the world: Mattel and Hasbro (toys); the Beatles, Rolling Stones, and Beach Boys (music); Ford Mustang (cars), McDonalds and Burger King (fast food); then Century 21 (real estate). These trends were so huge, that we simply think of them as reality. But, if not for the boomers, these trends would have been blips on the screen, like rotary clubs and literature societies.

Right now, the boomers are between 45 and 65 years old. What are they buying now?
Health and wellness information and products
Stay young stuff
Financial planning

If you choose one of these markets, you'll have the potential of a billion customers knocking at your door.

One of the things that I love about my company is that it's perfect for baby boomers, both as customers and as business partners. It combines aspects of business and health, financial freedom and staying healthy, that are very appealing to the baby boomers. It has it all.

Nice, huh?

Choose your emotion

It's easy to be in a good mood when you're in a good mood. It can be somewhat harder to shift from a bad mood into a good mood.

Sometimes I wake up enthusiastic, with 24 ideas on what I want to write about, who I want to call, what I'm going to say at lunch, the messages I'm going to email my downline, my crossline, my upline. Those mornings are fabulous.

Sometimes I wake up weary. I curl up in a ball and just want it all to go away.

But those days are becoming more and more rare. I've been learning how to choose my emotion.

How?

Here are some clues:

1. Practice when it's easier. Have you ever gone through child birth? Have you ever watched or coached someone going through child birth? There are breathing techniques that help you separate yourself from the pain. There are body positions that you can uses at different stages. There are things that you can do during child birth that will help a lot.

But you have to practice them ahead of time. If you wait until you're in the middle of labor, and someone says, "Breathe, sweetheart, breathe", your apt to take a wild swing and punch him in the jaw. You have to practice when it's easier, so that you can draw upon your expertise when you're in the moment and really, really need it.

2. Act consciously. When you feel yourself slipping into a mood, pay attention. I tell myself, "This is not where I want to go." "This does not belong to me." "This belongs to someone else, and I'm not that person." I play great music, really loud, really quietly. I sing. I keep a collection of inspiring books, and open one up and read a few pages to get me back on track. I tell myself again and again, until it starts to take hold, "This is not mine. I'm giving it back to You."

3. Be kind to yourself. If you're too far gone to drag yourself out, let yourself wallow for a while. No berating. No self-flagellation. Turn away from those habits again and again. Realize that you're here now, but you won't be here for long. You'll come out on the other side and return to the reality that fits you better.

4. Balance your energy. I have to admit that my most powerful tool is my Ayurvedic herbal drink. It shifts overwhelm to decisiveness. It shifts foggy-headedness to clarity. It shifts procrastination to action. It balances my energy, so I can exist in my best reality.

It's all in your head, but that's a marvelous thing. That means you can take charge and change it. Choose your emotion. And make it a good one.

What's your dream?

In your heart, in the center of your being, what is the dream that waits, yearning to blossom?

I want to wake up . . .
when I'm finished sleeping.

I want to go where I want. . .
when I want. . .
with whomever I want. . .

I want to travel. . .
and find amazement in the world.

I want to study. . .
and explore all that fascinates me.

I want to help others. . .
and watch their eyes. . .
as their world transforms. . .
into their dreams.

I want to make a difference!
I want to be somebody!
I want my life to matter!

What do you want from life?

What do you believe is your greatest challenge?

If you take this step. . .
what does your life look like?

Where do you want to go?
How will you get there?

Connect with your enthusiasm and abundance!

I will lead
not follow.

I will believe
not doubt.

I will create
not destroy.

I am a force for good.

Step up!

Step up!

Step up!

Communicate from your heart

When you're getting ready to talk with a new prospect about your business, take a moment to energetically prepare yourself. Let yourself grow quiet. Connect with your higher self. Reach out to the person with your thoughts, with your heart.

All you know about the prospect may be a phone number. Maybe you know the city where she lives. Maybe you have a fancy program that tells you things about that part of the world, like current weather, local news. Maybe you only know what time of day it is there.

Just let you mind rest on the connection you're making with her.

If you don't know how to do this, pretend that you know how. It works just as well that way, too. Pretty soon, you'll know how to do it.

Ask yourself: Is what I have to offer a fit for what she needs?

Let your mind rest on that question for a moment.

Then call her, and ask her about herself. Take quick notes. Children? Corporate job? Laid off? What does she enjoy doing? What would be her perfect job? What qualities about her perfect job are her highlights, her favorite aspects? If she had all the time in the world, how would she spend it?

Sprinkle in information about yourself, too, so it doesn't start to feel like 20 questions. Ick. But always end your SHORT story about yourself by bringing the conversation back to her.

Where did she go to school? Does she like to work with her hands? Does she write much? Does she like floating around the internet?

Then, ask yourself what aspect of your business would appeal to her the most? Does she like talking with people? Does she like meeting friends for lunch? Does she use the internet all day long? Is she overwhelmed with her kids and can't imagine taking time to start a business?

Handle her objections. Connect with her truth, and link it up with your truth. Be honest, sincere, supportive, creative, empathetic, authentic, courageous, respectful, inspiring. Be a leader.

Then she'll be able to see what fantastic business partners the two of you can be.

The times, they are a changing. . .

So much has changed since the era of pushy sales and enrolling anyone who can fog a mirror, and yet the perception lingers that network marketing is the worst thing since income tax. We have Tim Sales' Professional Inviter and Michael Oliver's Natural Selling, to name just two supreme examples of how to connect with people without creating awkwardness and resentment, and yet the negative perception lingers.

We have online training resources, full marketing support from our companies in the form of brochures, DVDs, slide shows. We have Web 2.0 social networking. We have strong upline, downline, crossline support. We have the freedom to work at home, on our own timeline, setting our own schedules, and yet the perception lingers.

We have more and more companies turning to network marketing as the business strategy of the future. We have icons of the business world, like Donald Trump and Bill Farley, turning to network marketing. We have websites that address people's objections in an unbiased, undramatic, truthful, coherent style. . . . and yet the perception lingers.

Changing that perception is like pulling a nail out of a thick board. We don't know if the nail is about to come out of the board, or if we have to pull and pull and pull to get it out. It doesn't really matter how much nail is left in the board; our job is to pull until it comes out. And it will come out.

Public perception may be about to change. Perhaps next month the shift will start appearing here and there. Perhaps next year. It doesn't matter how close we are to the perception change; our job is to help the change happen.

My colleagues and I just created a meetup group using meetup.com. We are moving forward with a positive attitude, determined to further the effort of changing the public's opinion about network marketing.

Our vision is to create greater understanding by the general public of the truly amazing opportunity that is possible through network marketing, available to anyone who sincerely yearns for greater financial freedom and greater time freedom.

Our purpose is three-fold: 1) to bolster our resolve to create successful network marketing businesses by surrounding ourselves with like-minded souls; 2) to mastermind positive actions and identify resources that will help us spread the truth about the positive aspects of network marketing; 3) to invite guests who would benefit from learning more about network marketing in order to overcome their own objections.

Our goal is to help people realize their dreams, using network marketing as the vehicle to personal freedom.

It's easy to do, and you can do it wherever you are. Check out meetup.com. It is powerful.

Learn to thrive in a down economy

Do you know of many industries that are doing well right now? We know that bankers, auto makers, many of the formerly stalwart industry are faltering. Scores of people have been laid off and are having trouble finding their next job. The media have created a fear consciousness around all of this, so we're all shivering in our boots, hoping it doesn't hit us or our loved ones.

In the midst of all of this, network marketing is thriving. In every economic downturn in the last 40 years, network marketing has blossomed. The reasons are interwoven.

In network marketing, there's no one to fire you. You are the boss. You decide how hard you work, when you work, with whom you work. If you decide to take the day off, no one is looking over your shoulder asking "WHAT???!!!" Whatever you do is your decision. You are the boss. No one can take your job away from you.

In network marketing, all you need is the desire to help others. In a down economy, there are lots of people looking for help. You can help them turn their lives around and really make something of themselves. It is the most rewarding industry out there. You can have an impact.

In a down economy, people become more open minded about opportunities. They're willing to think outside the box. Once they've looked outside that box, they will be amazed at the possibilities. Their enthusiasm will spark; their creativity will blossom; their hope will rise.

Robert Kiyasaki of the Rich Dad/Poor Dad book series describes network marketing as the single best avenue for going into business for yourself. All of the tools are there for you to use. You don't have to develop any marketing brochures, CDs, DVDs. The slide shows are ready to go, market tested, powerful. The back office and websites are up and running, waiting for you. For a small initial investment that anyone can afford, you step into a supportive, interactive system that teaches you what you need to know to succeed.

Paul Zane Pilzer, a noteworthy economist, predicts that thousands of millionaires will create fortunes over the next 10 years. How??? Network marketing. Pilzer predicted the crumbling of large corporations. Changes in tax laws and the speed of innovation in software and the internet have shifted the advantage to individuals, away from large corporations that can no longer adjust quickly enough to meet continuing consumer demands. These large corporations didn't crumble because of global influences. They crumbled because the hot shot, intelligent, motivated, clear thinkers are no longer joining corporations. They're building their own small, innnovative companies.

The timing is perfect. Thousands of millionaires over the next 10 years. Would you like to be one of them?

Two ways to ask the question

Pay attention to the way that you ask a question. There are two ways, using exactly the same words, which carry completely different motives. By paying attention to the way you ask the question, you can double check your motives, which helps keep you on the right track.

Why are there only men at the upper levels of my company!!!

Why are there only men at the upper levels of my company???

The first question demonstrates frustration and anger, foot stamping at the way things are. Whenever you ask a question with this motive, perhaps you're not really looking for an answer. Perhaps your main motive is to rale against the world, shaking your virtual fists at invisible enemies. It doesn't get you very far.

The second question, however, demonstrates a genuine curiosity, a thoughtful wonder at the way things are. Whenever you ask a question with this motive, you are actually asking for an answer. If you ask the second question of another person, you might gain some insight. If you ask the second question thoughtfully, inwardly, you might gain some insight as well, from your intuition.

Intuition comes to you through your heart. Ideas occur, fully formed. It may take some time to put words around the idea, to explore the nuances, but it's all there, ready for your contemplation.

Are there mostly men at the top levels of your company? Why do you think that might be?

I've pondered this question, and the answer that comes to me is that men do business differently than women. Or to put that another way, women do business differently than men.

Network marketing is a field predominately composed of women. Look around at any of your conventions or training meetings; are there mostly men or women sitting around you? And then looking up at the stage, are there mostly men or women sitting up there?

The techniques that we learn in network marketing are changing; the industry is becoming more and more solidly structured around relationships. Rather than handing out 20 brochures to strangers every day and hoping someone will call you back, we're finding that what really works is to call up a friend and sit down and have chat over a cup of tea. Relationships.

So why are there more men at the top levels of your company? Because women are starting to come into our own, and we're doing it by discovering what works for us. We're changing the structure of network marketing a step at a time, which is our nature. Because we're gentle and caring and nurturing; because we include others in our success; because we embrace a balanced life.

We're getting to the top levels of our companies. Things are changing. Look how much things have changed in the last 20 years. Think about how much things will change in the next 20 years.

None of that would have occurred to me if I had demanded Why are there so many men at the top levels of these companies!!! I would have continued on, frustrated and angry, never getting any answers.

I know a lot more now, because my motive has shifted. I'm happier now, not because I've learned to be content with what I have, but because I'm content with the journey that is taking me where I want to go. It's all about the journey; the goal is simply what happens along the way.

solution consciousness

Our culture teaches us to closely examine things that are going wrong, so we can learn from them. But I've found that the more you focus on what's wrong, the bigger it gets.

Instead of focusing on the problem (problem consciousness), focus on solutions.

I've talked with people who insist on describing in rich detail why a particular option won't work. They tell me the history of everything leading up to the situation, the nuances that make the problem important and interesting, the players involved that complicate the possibility of solutions.

Ignore all that. Sure, the problem exists. Sure, circumstances led you there. But look forward. What would change the situation? What would you love to do about it? Where would you like to be with this situation, instead of where you now are?

You can try writing down solutions. At first they might be far fetched, but if you can get those down on paper, they are no longer cluttering up your mind. Keep listing solutions, and pretty soon, sensible possibilities start to show up. One of them will lighten your heart.

Sometimes you need someone else to help you with this. Sometimes when you're in a dark hole, the best way to climb out is if a friend reaches in and pulls you out. Then you can both move forward, away from the hole.

But the best thing you can do is refuse to think about the problem and how you got there, and focus on how you're going to move forward.

Positive attitude. It works miracles.

Things you hate to do

One of the essential keys to time management is to identify the one thing on your todo list that you most DO NOT WANT TO DO, and then do that thing first.

When you have a task awaiting you that you dislike, or fear, or feel is beneath you for whatever reason, it tends to prey on your mind. You think about it; you think about how much you hate/fear/resent the task. You do it over and over again, in your mind, without making any progress. It eats up your energy and your enthusiasm and your ambition.

If you simply go ahead and do it FIRST, then it's done. You've only had to do it one time, and it's over with. The rest of the day seems brighter and lighter and easier. You're ahead of the game.

Yesterday, my husband tried to coax me into cleaning out our fishpond with him. This is an annual task, so it doesn't come around that often, and usually when it does start edging into our consciousness, it's me who coaxes him into undertaking the task.

I also should tell you that the fish pond was my idea in the first place. When we first moved into our place, we had a wonderful blank canvas for our front yard: dirt and cement. Or, I should say, soil and concrete. I talked my husband into helping me dig a big hole in the hard clay, line it with a gigantic sheet of black plastic, and haul flagstones and water lilies from the garden supply store to our driveway and place them strategically in the perfect spot. A little to the left. Hhhmm. . . a little to the right. . .

Ten years later, the pond is still the bright spot of our front yard. But every year it needs to be emptied, hosed clean, and refilled. Every year I coax him to help me, and every year it does.

This year, I did not want to touch the thing. My attention was focused elsewhere. I had calls to make; I had emails to write; I had new material to print out and organize; I was a busy lady. When he mentioned the pond, I came up with a dozen reasons why we should postpone it. It was foggy and cold; there were too many other things I wanted to get done; my sister and niece were coming by for a visit; we also had to wash the van, and no one should have to do two icky jobs in one day. Quite an impressive list, no?

But then I just decided to cooperate and get the thing done. We actually had gotten an early start to the day, and there would be plenty of time for the calls, emails, printing, organizing in the afternoon. So we started.

As soon as we focused on the pond, my whole attitude changed. I love working side by side with my husband. We don't get to spend much time together with our busy careers, and every minute with him is a treat. I love to garden, and rarely have the opportunity to spend the time to transform our front yard from neglected chaos to orderly beauty. The weather was perfect for this job. We were able to rearrange the teetering flagstones along the edge next to the fence. The fish were SO happy to have clean water flowing through their gills. They raced around, gleefully. The pond looked beautiful. And my sister and niece walked through the gate as the pond was filling and oooed and aahhed on cue.

And the rest of my day was brighter and cleaner and completely care free.

So when you make your list of things to do today, identify the one thing that you most do not want to do, and then do it. You'll feel better. Then find the next thing on your list that you most do not want to do, and do it. The day will start to get better and better. Your life will start to get better and better.

Make those calls. Send those emails. Set up those lunch meetings and dinner presentations. Take charge of your life. The energy will carry you along. Create your amazing business. You CAN do it.