Hey, I've been fired; week 1

Many things change when you've lost your job. Routine is one of the changes that rears up in front of you immediately. Here it is, Monday morning, and I'm home with no real agenda in front of me. It's tempting to go back to bed, curl up with a good book or engrossing video, talk to my cat or call a friend and chat for an hour or two. Escape can be very inviting.

But that's not going to get me where I want to go. Sometimes you have to just give in and indulge your fear, but I'm determined not to let that become a habit. The best antidote for fear and uncertainty is taking action. I've generated some very strong leads, and I'm going to follow up on them today, with confidence and genuine friendliness.

The business and products that I have to offer people are the best that I've ever found. I'm crazy about my products, and the people who have tried them are now crazy about them, too. My company is headed up by the best business people around, and I love working with them. I have so much to offer people, and I'm using that knowledge to feed my enthusiasm and take charge of my attitude, my world view.

In parallel with this, I'm opening up communication about some consulting work that I can do on the side, a few hours a week, to help pay the bills while my business continues to grow. I know that this will give me some breathing room and help me to feel a bit safer financially.

This is a bit tricky, because it would be easy to spread too thin, putting energy into consulting rather than focusing completely on building my business. But you can't build a business with confidence if you're working from a platform of fear. It's important to make your present reality one that you can live in with an open heart, so that that's what you show the world, rather than an underlying edge of fear.

To manage both of these endeavors, I'm committing to taking care of MY business FIRST, then turning to the consulting sideline to keep it flowing along. I'm keeping my priorities very clear in my mind and in my heart, so the universe knows how it's supposed to respond to help me move forward into my new reality.

I'm enjoying the journey, while I move toward my destination.

You want to change the world? Transform yourself.

If anyone tells you that starting your own business is easy, you have my permission to laugh out loud. If anyone tells you that you don't have to work hard, you can hold your stomach and roll on the grass. If anyone tells you that you can pay off your mortgage next month, please, gasp for breath.

But if anyone tells you that the hardest part of succeeding in your own business is working on yourself, please go very still and listen with every fiber of your being. You are talking with someone who has been down that road and grabbed the prize. You have found a leader who can help you succeed.

You should listen very carefully to people who have succeeded. You should ignore the blathering of those who have failed. They'll only enable you to fail, too.

I've worked very hard to succeed at network marketing. Learning to talk with people was pretty fun, because it got easier and easier. Learning to describe our compensation plan was pretty fun, because I love describing how money flows into your bank account. Learning to burbble about our product was fun because I absolutely LOVE our product. All of that was easy.

What was hard, was me. Sometimes I was in a bad mood, and didn't want to return phone calls. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed, and then sorry for myself, yearning for some time to just stare at the walls. Sometimes it was hard to pick myself up off the floor, because I had battered my self-esteem so thoroughly that I was numb with indecision and fear.

And so along the way, I learned to treat myself as well as I treat other people. I started asking myself, would I ever say that to someone else? Maybe I should take that back, and then forgive myself for even saying it.

I learned to let myself stare at the wall, when that's all I could do. That wasn't too hard. What was harder was not beating myself up for wasting time staring at the wall. If that was what I needed, then that is what I would give myself.

I learned to recognize that I'm a very hard worker, and that I work better if I'm filled with joy. I learned to focus on the joy, and consistently turn away from the ickies. I went on an icky fast. And just like any determined fasting effort, the ickies started to drop away. Then I learned how to not put them back on. I am icky-slim. I move through the world, icky-free.

Every once in a while, I'll pick up an icky and give it a try. You know what? It tastes icky now. I have the ability to choose between joy and icky, and I've learned that joy tastes way better. I've learned to discern the difference.

So I have succeeded at network marketing. I make all the money that I want, that I need. That's nice.

I have succeeded at network marketing. I am joyful; I laugh easily, from the heart; I smile at everyone, and they smile back, brightly. I am transformed.

That's more than nice. That's wondrous.

You want to change the world? Transform yourself.

I've been fired, Day 3

Day 3 hit me hard. It was a day of anxiety and disappointment, but now that I'm sitting here in Day 4, I can see that it was a reality that I created for myself.

Huh?

What I mean is that I had huge expectations. I envisioned my conference room filled to the brim with 40 people, that they would all enthusiastically fill out the enrollment forms after hearing my brilliant presentation, and that they would each run out and find 5 of their friends for our next meeting and the avalanche would carry us all along to the promised land.

Well, there were less than 40 people, and although the presentation was brilliant, not everyone signed up and rushed out to find their friends. So I slipped into a slump and landed in a great big puddle of fear. My poor husband; he helped me limp along while I gave in to despair and waited until there was a glimmer of positive thought and blew gently on that ember so that it could start to warm my soul.

In actuality, I made 3 extremely promising contacts that have become even more promising this morning, only 18 hours later; I have a list of 20 new emails and phone numbers for follow up from enthusiastic people who weren't able to make it to last night's meeting, and I have a clear idea of my next step. Oh, and did I mention that I have 3 new enrollees?

And yet that icky fear is still clinging to my ankles, threatening to rise up and swallow my heart, and render me incapable of motion.

It's all in my head. Yesterday was a GREAT success. At any other point, my heart would be dancing a jig, and I would be grinning at everyone within radar range.

Thank goodness for self-honesty. It's important to be able to look inside and discern the source of discord. Stress is the difference between the way we want something to be, and the way it actually is. Stress diminishes when you work with things the way they are, instead of the way that you want them to be.

So when I look at what really happened yesterday and my reaction to what happened yesterday, it's easy to see that the cause of my stress is this impending deadline of needing to make this work within 2 months. I felt that my very survival depended on the presence of 40 enthusiastic enrollees at one meeting. I created this reality for myself that told me I failed, when actually, I succeeded.

Being in business for yourself is more than just making things happen, like getting people to a meeting, training them, mentoring them. It's also about personal growth, managing yourself, taking responsibility for your reactions, monitoring your world view. I'm a much stronger person today than I was yesterday, because I had to lift some pretty heavy weights, and I did it. I'm a bit bruised, but even that is evaporating as the minutes tick by.

Despair doesn't get you anywhere. Clear thought, positive attitude, taking action: those get you wherever you want to go. So, I'm leaving despair behind, and turning my face toward my next positive action, which is to follow up with the 25 people that I met yesterday.

Day 4 awaits!

I've been fired! Day 2

The aftermath of being fired can start to set in a day or two after the main event. I'm focusing on all of the positive things that come to mind. Like, it's a gorgeous blue-skied day out there, and I'm not stuck in a cubicle, oblivious. I'm still sitting at a computer, but it's my computer, and I'm working on MY business.

My business partner and I planned a big meeting for tomorrow. We planned it last week, got the room reserved, checked our slide shows and music mix, printed out fliers and put in motion all of the little details that ensure a successful meeting.

I was planning on taking the day off anyway, to really focus on the meeting, but now I have a whole extra day to get things in order. Also, it's not a huge, late-night push to get it all ready, so I'll be well-rested and full of genuine enthusiasm tomorrow.

Everything is working out for the best. I feel great! I envision a large turnout for our meeting. We have a powerful slide show, and great pre- and post-meeting activities. We did a run through last week, so both my partner and I know exactly what to do at every step of the meeting. I've had time to think everything through and pick up last minute oversights that might have involved some fancy footwork if they'd gone unnoticed.

I am so thankful that I've been working on my business part time, so it's there for me to step into full time when I really needed it. I knew I would be building my business full time at some point, I just hadn't planned on it being now. But just like starting a family, there's not often the perfect time. Sometimes you just have to jump and swim as hard as you can.

I am surrounded by supportive, positive people; I have everything I need for tomorrow's meeting, including a great business partner. We've been working together almost a year now, so we really know each other's style and strengths. We're a good team, and we're so lucky to be in this together.

She still has her full time job, and my lay off scared her a bit, but that just motivates both of us to make every moment successful, positive, and full of focused activity and fun.

I keep going back to the fact that it is so important to have something that you can fall back on and build on your own, because corporations are crumbling all around us. Be ready for when it hits you, and your life will blossom instead of collapse. You can do it! I'll show you how, because, whew, I've been there.

Do it yourself, or pay the man?

There is so much to do and only so many hours in the day. You're building a business, probably while working full time at the job you're trying to escape, raising a family, juggling schedules, caring for aging parents, and having a quiet dinner out, at least once in a while, with your spouse, so you can remember why you're doing all of this anyway.

Some things you'll be really, really good at. Other things will be a struggle for you. Avoid the trap of trying to do it all yourself. Otherwise, you'll eventually run out of time and sanity.

Look for business partners with skills that compliment yours. If you don't like speaking in front of groups, keep your antennae out for someone who likes being up on stage. If you can't write, team up with someone who can. Are you super organized? Not everyone is. You can provide this skill to your partners, while they're up on stage or blogging.

Another option is to hire someone to help you. For a couple of years, I had a personal assistant. She picked up my mail and called catalog companies to get me off their mailing lists. She returned the videos (pre-Netflix). She bought batteries for my watches and kept the refrigerator stocked. She did my laundry and filled out the checks for me to sign for all of the bills I was supposed to keep track of. When I traveled for business, or pleasure, she kept all of these things going in the background, so I came home to a cleared desk, with no backlog.

Heaven.

Then I got laid off, and I couldn't afford to pay her any longer. But it taught me an important lesson: If someone else took care of the details that didn't interest me, I could focus on what I loved to do, working on my career.

When I started network marketing, things went along pretty good, but I was starting to get frazzled around the edges because there were too many things to do, and most of them I had to learn first. I was a scientist, with no experience in network marketing. I had to learn everything.

When I turned to social networking, I had to learn Facebook and Twitter and YouTube and blogging and and and. . . the list goes on as far as the eye can see.

I sent out a plea for help, and the perfect person said "I could do that for you!" And she could. She did. She still does. My business has grown fabulously since hiring her, because I can focus my attention on the parts that I've learned really well, and that I LOVE to do.

Self reliance is a wondrous thing. Overwhelm is the pits.

Where are you?

Choose your emotion

It's easy to be in a good mood when you're in a good mood. It can be somewhat harder to shift from a bad mood into a good mood.

Sometimes I wake up enthusiastic, with 24 ideas on what I want to write about, who I want to call, what I'm going to say at lunch, the messages I'm going to email my downline, my crossline, my upline. Those mornings are fabulous.

Sometimes I wake up weary. I curl up in a ball and just want it all to go away.

But those days are becoming more and more rare. I've been learning how to choose my emotion.

How?

Here are some clues:

1. Practice when it's easier. Have you ever gone through child birth? Have you ever watched or coached someone going through child birth? There are breathing techniques that help you separate yourself from the pain. There are body positions that you can uses at different stages. There are things that you can do during child birth that will help a lot.

But you have to practice them ahead of time. If you wait until you're in the middle of labor, and someone says, "Breathe, sweetheart, breathe", your apt to take a wild swing and punch him in the jaw. You have to practice when it's easier, so that you can draw upon your expertise when you're in the moment and really, really need it.

2. Act consciously. When you feel yourself slipping into a mood, pay attention. I tell myself, "This is not where I want to go." "This does not belong to me." "This belongs to someone else, and I'm not that person." I play great music, really loud, really quietly. I sing. I keep a collection of inspiring books, and open one up and read a few pages to get me back on track. I tell myself again and again, until it starts to take hold, "This is not mine. I'm giving it back to You."

3. Be kind to yourself. If you're too far gone to drag yourself out, let yourself wallow for a while. No berating. No self-flagellation. Turn away from those habits again and again. Realize that you're here now, but you won't be here for long. You'll come out on the other side and return to the reality that fits you better.

4. Balance your energy. I have to admit that my most powerful tool is my Ayurvedic herbal drink. It shifts overwhelm to decisiveness. It shifts foggy-headedness to clarity. It shifts procrastination to action. It balances my energy, so I can exist in my best reality.

It's all in your head, but that's a marvelous thing. That means you can take charge and change it. Choose your emotion. And make it a good one.

Where are you going?

When we start a new venture, we don't always know all of the details. Network marketing definitely falls into that category.

Maybe you can see the whole picture. Maybe you know where you want to go, but aren't sure how to get there. Maybe you don't have the slightest idea what you want to do; you simply know that things have GOT to change.

Congratulations!!! You're ready!

There are a myriad of paths that you can take to business success. A good leader will help you sort through them and find the one that's perfect for YOU. A good leader will say "Try this. This might be the plan that works best for who you are."

A good leader will continue to show you the next step. Sometimes the next step will suddenly shine like a beacon, and you can flow forward on your own.

Sometimes you have to put your foot out into the dark before the stepping stone will begin to glow, showing you where to stand next.

Be impeccable in your thoughts and deeds. . .
and let the universe sort out the details.

Do your best, as often as you can. You'll get better and better, and soon you'll be showing others how to go where they want to go.

Don't worry about the entire journey. Focus on where you want to go AND the next step to take you in that direction.

Let your heart guide you. Let your leader guide you. Blend the two, and you'll end up where you want to be.

Yellow brick road

All things are possible. An idea, a dream, starts floating around in your brain, bumping into things, coming into focus, melting into the background, floating, bumping, today, next week, last month.

An insight blossoms in your heart. You see something that speaks directly to your inner self and you know that this is important.

Do you let it go? Do you turn away, sighing?

You don't have to.

Take the first step. Simply turn your attention to the idea, the dream, the blossom. Hold it firmly, gently, in your heart.

You've started.

Every journey begins with a first step. Progress is made, step by step.

Make a commitment to YOUR yellow brick road.

What's your dream?

In your heart, in the center of your being, what is the dream that waits, yearning to blossom?

I want to wake up . . .
when I'm finished sleeping.

I want to go where I want. . .
when I want. . .
with whomever I want. . .

I want to travel. . .
and find amazement in the world.

I want to study. . .
and explore all that fascinates me.

I want to help others. . .
and watch their eyes. . .
as their world transforms. . .
into their dreams.

I want to make a difference!
I want to be somebody!
I want my life to matter!

What do you want from life?

What do you believe is your greatest challenge?

If you take this step. . .
what does your life look like?

Where do you want to go?
How will you get there?

Connect with your enthusiasm and abundance!

I will lead
not follow.

I will believe
not doubt.

I will create
not destroy.

I am a force for good.

Step up!

Step up!

Step up!

network marketing? Bah! Humbug!

Network marketing has changed my life. I used to think that network marketing was for the birds. I thought it was overrun with desperate people, frantically running around coercing their friends into helping them to make this month's quota. I felt nothing but contempt and pity for people who got sucked into network marketing.

And then one of my best friends ever, asked me to buy some weight-loss shakes from her. I cringed. "Why are you doing this???" And she burbled over with enthusiasm, her face alight with hope; she was so excited that she couldn't sit still in her chair.

So, I took her pamphlet home with me, sighing. That night I started looking through the information she had given me, and I gradually grew very still. I read on and on. I got on the internet and checked things out. I grew quietly excited because I realized that network marketing was exactly what I had been yearning for, for more years than I could bear to think about. Here it was, right here, disguised by my preconceptions and ill-informed assumptions.

If YOU think network marketing is for the birds, if you don't get what all the fuss is about, you should look into it. It might be exactly what you've been hoping for, yearning for.

Network marketing has changed my life. I have come into my own. I'm a believer.

The company you keep

One of the most important decisions you can make about your life is who you spend time with. Surround yourself with positive people. Their enthusiasm and supportive feedback will bolster you and help you become the best person that you possibly can.

A friend is someone who came and never left your side.

Positive people will help you stay in a positive frame of mind. You can accomplish whatever you believe that you can accomplish, so having people right there with you who will help you stay positive, will have enormous influence over the degree of your success.

When you aim high, your positive friends and colleagues add speed and power to your arrow, ensuring your success in reaching your goal.

If you can't find a positive friend in the moment, then pick up a positive book. The thoughts and insights embedded in an uplifting book can bolster you in exactly the same way as a good friend. You will be surrounding yourself in positive thoughts; all it takes is opening a book. "Chicken Soup for the Network Marketers Soul" is a fabulous collection of short stories, recounted by people just like you and me. Each story helps your soul soar.

If you can maintain a positive attitude, everything else will follow. Everything.

Never give up

Whenever we're in business for ourselves, we face challenges. The buck stops with us. We either get it done, or delegate to someone who will do it, if we're lucky enough to have such a someone. Our limitations loom in our face, and we either climb over them, or they sit there and hover, like relatives clucking over our inadequacies, again and again and again.

It's a double-edged sword. We can create whatever we envision. We can develop the lifestyle of our dreams, supported by the business of our dreams. But we're the ones who have to create it, and that takes time, imagination, enthusiasm, and above all, perseverance.

There are only winners and. . . . . learners. Just because you haven't yet won, doesn't mean you've lost. It only means that you haven't figured it out yet. You're still learning. Others can give you tips and observations, but just like learning to walk, ride a bike, canoeing down rapids, or spiking a volleyball, you have to actually practice doing it yourself, until you get that aha moment. Then you build on the aha until it becomes richer and stronger and deeper.

The only time you lose, is if you give up. So never give up. Never give up. Never give up. Pick yourself up and keep learning, keep trying. Never give up. Never give up.

The times, they are a changing. . .

So much has changed since the era of pushy sales and enrolling anyone who can fog a mirror, and yet the perception lingers that network marketing is the worst thing since income tax. We have Tim Sales' Professional Inviter and Michael Oliver's Natural Selling, to name just two supreme examples of how to connect with people without creating awkwardness and resentment, and yet the negative perception lingers.

We have online training resources, full marketing support from our companies in the form of brochures, DVDs, slide shows. We have Web 2.0 social networking. We have strong upline, downline, crossline support. We have the freedom to work at home, on our own timeline, setting our own schedules, and yet the perception lingers.

We have more and more companies turning to network marketing as the business strategy of the future. We have icons of the business world, like Donald Trump and Bill Farley, turning to network marketing. We have websites that address people's objections in an unbiased, undramatic, truthful, coherent style. . . . and yet the perception lingers.

Changing that perception is like pulling a nail out of a thick board. We don't know if the nail is about to come out of the board, or if we have to pull and pull and pull to get it out. It doesn't really matter how much nail is left in the board; our job is to pull until it comes out. And it will come out.

Public perception may be about to change. Perhaps next month the shift will start appearing here and there. Perhaps next year. It doesn't matter how close we are to the perception change; our job is to help the change happen.

My colleagues and I just created a meetup group using meetup.com. We are moving forward with a positive attitude, determined to further the effort of changing the public's opinion about network marketing.

Our vision is to create greater understanding by the general public of the truly amazing opportunity that is possible through network marketing, available to anyone who sincerely yearns for greater financial freedom and greater time freedom.

Our purpose is three-fold: 1) to bolster our resolve to create successful network marketing businesses by surrounding ourselves with like-minded souls; 2) to mastermind positive actions and identify resources that will help us spread the truth about the positive aspects of network marketing; 3) to invite guests who would benefit from learning more about network marketing in order to overcome their own objections.

Our goal is to help people realize their dreams, using network marketing as the vehicle to personal freedom.

It's easy to do, and you can do it wherever you are. Check out meetup.com. It is powerful.

solution consciousness

Our culture teaches us to closely examine things that are going wrong, so we can learn from them. But I've found that the more you focus on what's wrong, the bigger it gets.

Instead of focusing on the problem (problem consciousness), focus on solutions.

I've talked with people who insist on describing in rich detail why a particular option won't work. They tell me the history of everything leading up to the situation, the nuances that make the problem important and interesting, the players involved that complicate the possibility of solutions.

Ignore all that. Sure, the problem exists. Sure, circumstances led you there. But look forward. What would change the situation? What would you love to do about it? Where would you like to be with this situation, instead of where you now are?

You can try writing down solutions. At first they might be far fetched, but if you can get those down on paper, they are no longer cluttering up your mind. Keep listing solutions, and pretty soon, sensible possibilities start to show up. One of them will lighten your heart.

Sometimes you need someone else to help you with this. Sometimes when you're in a dark hole, the best way to climb out is if a friend reaches in and pulls you out. Then you can both move forward, away from the hole.

But the best thing you can do is refuse to think about the problem and how you got there, and focus on how you're going to move forward.

Positive attitude. It works miracles.

They have to love you back

Back in my dating days, I was open to all kinds of ways to meet men. I liked being in a relationship, the companionship. I was actively looking for someone with whom I could share my life.

We all have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find a prince. I met guys for coffee. I went to dinner with them. I ran into them at bars. I kept telling myself that if this guy were in a comfortable relationship, he wouldn't be this nervous; he wouldn't be this fragile. I tried to see the real person behind the don't-know-you-from-Adam facade. I tried to be as open and as accommodating as possible. I decided to give each guy at least two chances, 2 dates. Sometimes I went on as many as 10 dates with a guy before I'd finally accept the fact that this was not a good fit.

Then I met a guy who was crazy about me. That's when I finally realized that no matter how accommodating, no matter how patient, no matter how attentive I was, if the guy didn't love me back, it wasn't going to work.

Prospects are like guys. They have to love you back, or it isn't going to work.

What I mean is that you can't accommodate someone into the business. If you do all the work, you're always going to be doing all of the work. You're always going to feel inadequate and frustrated.

We are actively looking for people with whom we can share our businesses, our products. By all means, handle the objections. Find out their why. Qualify them. But at some point they have to start moving toward you, or they're just going to feel harried.

Connect with people. Find out what makes someone tick. Be sincere. Be real. But if they don't respond, move on. There are so many people out there waiting to here about your opportunity, and if you spend all of your time and energy harrying the few that you really really really want to join you, even though they're not interested, you'll miss the chance to find the ones that will love you back.

So get out there and start talking to the frogs. You will find princes.