I've been fired, Day 3

Day 3 hit me hard. It was a day of anxiety and disappointment, but now that I'm sitting here in Day 4, I can see that it was a reality that I created for myself.

Huh?

What I mean is that I had huge expectations. I envisioned my conference room filled to the brim with 40 people, that they would all enthusiastically fill out the enrollment forms after hearing my brilliant presentation, and that they would each run out and find 5 of their friends for our next meeting and the avalanche would carry us all along to the promised land.

Well, there were less than 40 people, and although the presentation was brilliant, not everyone signed up and rushed out to find their friends. So I slipped into a slump and landed in a great big puddle of fear. My poor husband; he helped me limp along while I gave in to despair and waited until there was a glimmer of positive thought and blew gently on that ember so that it could start to warm my soul.

In actuality, I made 3 extremely promising contacts that have become even more promising this morning, only 18 hours later; I have a list of 20 new emails and phone numbers for follow up from enthusiastic people who weren't able to make it to last night's meeting, and I have a clear idea of my next step. Oh, and did I mention that I have 3 new enrollees?

And yet that icky fear is still clinging to my ankles, threatening to rise up and swallow my heart, and render me incapable of motion.

It's all in my head. Yesterday was a GREAT success. At any other point, my heart would be dancing a jig, and I would be grinning at everyone within radar range.

Thank goodness for self-honesty. It's important to be able to look inside and discern the source of discord. Stress is the difference between the way we want something to be, and the way it actually is. Stress diminishes when you work with things the way they are, instead of the way that you want them to be.

So when I look at what really happened yesterday and my reaction to what happened yesterday, it's easy to see that the cause of my stress is this impending deadline of needing to make this work within 2 months. I felt that my very survival depended on the presence of 40 enthusiastic enrollees at one meeting. I created this reality for myself that told me I failed, when actually, I succeeded.

Being in business for yourself is more than just making things happen, like getting people to a meeting, training them, mentoring them. It's also about personal growth, managing yourself, taking responsibility for your reactions, monitoring your world view. I'm a much stronger person today than I was yesterday, because I had to lift some pretty heavy weights, and I did it. I'm a bit bruised, but even that is evaporating as the minutes tick by.

Despair doesn't get you anywhere. Clear thought, positive attitude, taking action: those get you wherever you want to go. So, I'm leaving despair behind, and turning my face toward my next positive action, which is to follow up with the 25 people that I met yesterday.

Day 4 awaits!